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| 1 | O Eternal Love, You command Your Sacred Image to be painted | ||||||
| And reveal to us the inconceivable fount of mercy, You bless whoever approaches Your rays, And a soul all black will turn into snow. O sweet Jesus, it is here You established the throne of Your mercy To bring joy and hope to sinful man. From Your open Heart, as from a pure fount, Flows comfort to a repentant heart and soul. May praise and glory for this Image Never cease to stream from man's soul. May praise of God's mercy pour from every heart, Now, and at every hour, and forever and ever. O My God |
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| 2 | When I look into the future, I am frightened, | ||||||
| But why plunge into the future? Only the present moment is precious to me, As the future may never enter my soul at all. It is no longer in my power, To change, correct or add to the past; For neither sages nor prophets could do that. And so, what the past has embraced I must entrust to God. O present moment, you belong to me, whole and entire. I desire to use you as best I can. And although I am weak and small, You grant me the grace of your omnipotence. And so, trusting in Your mercy, I walk through life like a little child, Offering You each day this heart Burning with love for Your greater glory. |
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| + J.M.J. [Jesus, Mary, and Joseph] |
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| 3 | God and souls | ||||||
| King of Mercy, guide my soul. |
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| Sister M. Faustina of the Blessed Sacrament |
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| Vilnius, July 28, 1934 | |||||||
| 4 | O my Jesus, because of my trust in You, | ||||||
| I weave thousands of garlands, and I know That they will all
blossom. And I know that they will all blossom When God's sun will shine on them. + O great and Divine Sacrament That veils my God! Jesus, be with me each moment, And no fear will enter my heart. |
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| + | Vilnius, July 28, 1934 | ||||||
| J.M.J | + First notebook | ||||||
| God and Souls. | |||||||
| 5 | Be adored, O Most Holy Trinity, now and for all
time. Be adored in all Your works and all Your creatures. May the
greatness of Your mercy be admired and glorified, O God. |
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| 6 | I am to write down the encounters of
my soul with You, O God, at the moments of Your special visitations. I
am to write about You, O Incomprehensible in mercy towards my poor
soul. Your holy will is the life of my soul. I have received this order
through him who is for me Your representative here on earth, who
interprets Your holy Will to me. Jesus, You see how difficult it is for
me to write, how unable I am to put down clearly what I experience in
my soul. O God, can a pen write down that for which many a time there
are no words? But You give the order to write, O God; that is enough
for me. |
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| Warsaw, August 1, 1925 | |||||||
| Entrance into the Convent |
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| 7 | From the age of seven, I experienced the definite
call of God, the grace of a vocation to the religious life. It was in
the seventh year of my life that, for the first time, I heard God's
voice in my soul; that is, an invitation to a more perfect life. But I
was not always obedient to the call of grace. I came across no one who
would have explained these things to me. |
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| 8 | The eighteenth year of my life. An earnest appeal
to my parents for permission to enter the convent. My parents’ flat
refusal. After this refusal, I turned myself over to the vain things of
life, paying no attention to the call of grace, although my soul found
no satisfaction in any of these things. The incessant call of grace
caused me much anguish; I tried, however, to stifle it with amusements.
Interiorly, I shunned God, turning with all my heart to creatures.
However, God's grace won out in my soul. |
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| 9 | Once I was at a dance [probably in Lodz] with one
of my sisters. While everybody was having a good time, my soul was
experiencing deep torments. As I began to dance. I suddenly saw
Jesus at my side, Jesus racked with pain, stripped of His clothing, all
covered with wounds, who spoke these words to me: How long shall I
put up with you and how long will you keep putting Me off? At that
moment the charming music stopped, [and] the company I was with
vanished from my sight; there remained Jesus and I. I took a seat by my
dear sister, pretending to have a headache in order to cover up what
took place in my soul. After a while I slipped out unnoticed, leaving
my sister and all my companions behind and made my way to the Cathedral
of Saint Stanislaus Kostka. It was almost twilight; there were only a few people in the cathedral. Paying no attention to what was happening around me, I fell prostrate before the Blessed Sacrament and begged the Lord to be good enough to give me to understand what I should do next. |
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| 10 | Then I heard these words: Go at once to
Warsaw; you will enter a convent there. I rose from prayer, came
home, and took care of things that needed to be settled. As best I
could, I confided to my sister what took place within my soul. I told
her to say good-by to our parents, and thus, in my one dress, with no
other belongings, I arrived in Warsaw. |
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| 11 | When I got off the train and saw that all were
going their separate ways, I was overcome with fear. What am I to do?
To whom should I turn, as I know no one? So I said to the Mother of
God, “Mary, lead me, guide me.” Immediately I heard these words within
me telling me to leave the town and to go to a certain nearby village
where I would find a safe lodging for the night. I did so and found in
fact that everything was just as the Mother of God told me. |
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| 12 | Very early the next day, I rode back into the
city and entered the first church I saw [St. James Church at Grojecka
Street in Ochota, a suburb of Warsaw]. There I began to pray to know
further the will of God. Holy Masses were being celebrated one after
another. During one of them I heard the words: Go to that priest
[Father James Dabrowski, pastor of St. James’ Parish] and tell him
everything; he will tell you what to do next. After the Mass I went
to the sacristy. I told the priest all that had taken place in my soul,
and I asked him to advise me where to take the veil, in which religious
order. |
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| 13 | The priest was surprised at first, but told me to
have strong confidence that God would provide for my future. “For the
time being,” he said, “I shall send you to a pious lady [Aldona
Lipszycowa] with whom you will
stay until you enter a convent.” When I called on this lady, she
received me very kindly. During the time I stayed with her, I was
looking for a convent, but at whatever convent door I knocked, I was
turned away. Sorrow gripped my heart, and I said to the Lord Jesus,
“Help me; don't leave me alone.” At last I knocked on our door. |
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| 14 | When Mother Superior, the present Mother General
Michael came out to meet me,
she told me, after a short conversation, to go to the Lord of the house
and ask whether He would accept me. I understood at once that I was to
ask this of the Lord Jesus. With great joy, I went to the chapel and
asked Jesus: “Lord of this house, do You accept me? This is how one of
these sisters told me to put the question to You.” Immediately I heard this voice: I do accept; you are in My Heart. When I returned from the chapel, Mother Superior asked first of all, “Well, has the Lord accepted you?” I answered, “Yes.” “If the Lord has accepted, [she said] then I also will accept.” |
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| 15 | This is how I was accepted. However, for many
reasons I still had to remain in the world for more than a year with
that pious woman [Aldona Lipszycowa], but I did not go back to my own
home. At that time I had to struggle with many difficulties, but God was lavish with His graces. An ever greater longing for God began to take hold of me. The lady, pious as she was, did not understand the happiness of religious life and, in her kindheartedness began to make other plans for my future life. And yet, I sensed that I had a heart so big that nothing would be capable of filling it. And so I turned with all the longing of my soul to God. |
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| 16 | It was during the octave of Corpus Christi [June
25, 1925]. God filled my soul with the interior light of a deeper
knowledge of Him as Supreme Goodness and Supreme Beauty. I came to know
how very much God loves me. Eternal is His love for me. It was at
vespers. In simple words, which flowed from the heart, I made to God a
vow of perpetual chastity. From that moment I felt a greater intimacy
with God, my Spouse. From that moment I set up a little cell in my
heart where I always kept company with Jesus. |
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| 17 | At last the time came when the door of the
convent was opened for me - it was the first of August [1925], in the
evening, the vigil [of a feast] of Our Lady of the Angels. I felt
immensely happy; it seemed to em that I had stepped into the life of
Paradise. A single prayer was bursting forth from my heart, one of
thanksgiving. |
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| 18 | However, after three weeks I became aware that
there is so very little time here for prayer, and of many other things
which spoke to my soul in favor of entering a religious community of a
stricter observance. This thought took a firm hold of my soul, but the
will of God was not in it. Still, the thought, or rather the
temptation, was growing stronger and stronger to the point where I
decided one day to announce my departure to Mother Superior and
definitely to leave [the convent]. But God arranged the circumstances
in such a way that I could not get to the Mother Superior [Michael]. I
stepped into the little chapel before going to bed, and I asked
Jesus
for light in this matter. But I received nothing in my soul except a
strange unrest which I did not understand. But, in spite of everything,
I made up my mind to approach Mother Superior the next morning right
after Mass and tell her of my decision. |
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| 19 | I came to my cell. The sisters were already in
bed - the lights were out. I entered the cell full of anguish and
discontent; I did not know what to do with myself. I threw myself
headlong on the ground and began to pray fervently that I might come to
know the will of God. There is silence everywhere as in the tabernacle.
All the sisters are resting like white hosts enclosed in Jesus’
chalice. It is only from my cell that God can hear the moaning of a
soul. I did not know that one was not allowed to pray in the cell after
nine without permission. After a while a brightness filled my cell, and on the curtain I saw the very sorrowful Face of Jesus. There were open wounds on His Face, and large tears were falling on my bedspread. Not knowing what all this meant, I asked Jesus, “Jesus who has hurt You so?” And Jesus said to me, It is you who will cause Me this pain if you leave this convent. It is to this place that I called you and nowhere else; and I have prepared many graces for you. I begged pardon of Jesus and immediately changed my decision. The next day was confession day. I related all that had taken place in my soul, and the confessor answered that, from this, God's will is clear that I am to remain in this congregation and that I'm not even to think of another religious order. From that moment on, I have always felt happy and content. |
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| 20 | Shortly after this, I fell ill [general
exhaustion]. The dear Mother Superior sent me with two other sisters
for a rest to Skolimow, not far from Warsaw. It was at that time that I
asked the Lord who else I should pray for. Jesus said that on the
following night He would let me know for whom I should pray. [The Next night] I saw my Guardian Angel, who ordered me to follow him. In a moment I was in a misty place full of fire in which there was a great crowd of suffering souls. They were praying fervently, but to no avail, for themselves; only we can come to their aid. The flames which were burning them did not touch me at all. My Guardian Angel did not leave me for an instant. I asked these souls what their greatest suffering was. They answered me in one voice that their greatest torment was longing for God. I saw Our Lady visiting the souls in Purgatory. The souls call her "The Star of the Sea." She brings them refreshment. I wanted to talk with them some more, but my Guardian Angel beckoned me to leave. We went out of that prison of suffering.[I heard and interior voice] which said, My mercy does not want this, but justice demands it. Since that time, I am in closer communion with the suffering souls. |
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| 21 | End of postulancy [April 29, 1926] - My superiors [probably
Mother Leonard and Mother Jane] sent me to the
novitiate in Cracow. An inconceivable joy reigned in my soul. When we
arrived at the novitiate, Sister [Henry] was dying. A few days
later she came to me [in spirit, after her death] and bid me to go to
the Mother Directress of Novices [Sister Margaret] and tell her to ask
her confessor, Father Rospond, to offer one Mass for
her and three ejaculatory prayers. At first I agreed, but the next day
I decided I would not go to Mother Directress, because I was not sure
whether this had happened in a dream or in reality. And so I did not go. The following night the same thing was repeated more clearly; I had no more doubt. Still, in the morning I decided not to tell the Directress about it unless I saw her [Sister Henry] during the day. At once I ran into her in the corridor. She reproached me for not having gone immediately, and a great uneasiness filled my soul. So I went immediately to Mother Directress and told her everything that had happened to me. Mother responded that she would take care of the matter. At once peace reigned in my soul, and on the third day this sister came to me and said, "May God repay you." |
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| 22 | The day I took the [religious] habit, God let me
understand
how much I was to suffer. I clearly saw to what I was committing
myself. I experienced a moment of that suffering. But then God filled
my soul again with great consolations. |
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| 23 | Toward the end of the first year of my novitiate, darkness
began to cast its shadow over my soul. I felt no consolation in prayer;
I had to make a great effort to meditate; fear began to sweep over me.
Going deeper into myself, I could find nothing but great misery. I
could also clearly see the great holiness of God. I did not dare to
raise my eyes to Him, but reduced myself to dust under His feet and
begged for mercy. My soul was in this state for almost six months. Our
beloved Mother Directress [Mary Joseph] encouraged me in
these difficult moments. But this suffering became greater and greater. The second year of the novitiate was approaching. Whenever I recalled that I was to make my vows, my soul shuddered. I did not understand what I was reading; I could not meditate; it seemed to me that my prayer was displeasing to God. It seemed to me that by approaching the Holy Sacraments I was offending God even more. But despite this, my confessor [Father Theodore] did not let me omit one single Holy Communion. God was working very strangely in my soul. I did not understand anything at all of what my confessor was telling me. The simple truths of the faith became incomprehensible to me. My soul was in anguish, unable to find comfort anywhere. |
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| 24 | One day, just as I had awakened, when I was putting myself in
the presence of God, I was suddenly overwhelmed by despair. Complete
darkness in the soul. I fought as best I could till noon. In the
afternoon, truly deadly fears began to seize me; my physical strength
began to leave me. I went quickly to my cell, fell on my knees before
the Crucifix and began to cry out for mercy. But Jesus did not hear my
cries. I felt my physical strength leave me completely. I fell to the
ground, despair flooding my whole soul. I suffered terrible tortures in
no way different from the torments of hell. I was in this state for
three quarters of an hour. I wanted to go and see the Directress, but
was too weak. I wanted to shout but I had no voice. Fortunately, one of
the sisters [another novice, Sister Placida Putyra] came into my cell.
Finding me in such a strange condition, she immediately told the
Directress about it. Mother came at once. As soon as she entered the
cell she said, "In the name of holy obedience get up from the
ground." Immediately some force raised me up from the ground and I
stood up, close to the dear Mother Directress. With kindly words she
began to explain to me that this was a trial sent to me by God, saying,
"Have great confidence; God is always our Father, even when He sends us
trials." I returned to my duties as if I had come out from the tomb, my senses saturated with what my soul had experienced. During the evening service, my soul began to agonize again in a terrible darkness. I felt that I was in the power of the Just God, and that I was the object of His indignation. During these terrible moments I said to God, "Jesus, who in the Gospel compare Yourself to a most tender mother," I trust in Your words because You are Truth and Life. In spite of everything, Jesus, I trust in You in the face of every interior sentiment which sets itself against hope. Do what You want with me; I will never leave You, because You are the source of my life." Only one who has lived through similar moments can understand how terrible is this torment of the soul. |
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| 25 | During the night, the Mother of God visited me, holding the
Infant Jesus in Her arms. My soul was filled with joy, and I said,
"Mary, my Mother, do You know how terribly I suffer?" And the Mother of
God answered me, I know how much you suffer, but do not be afraid.
I share with you your suffering, and I shall always do so. She
smiled warmly and disappeared. At once, strength and a great courage
sprang up anew in my soul; but that lasted only one day. It seemed as
though hell had conspired against me. A terrible hatred began to break
out in my soul, a hatred for all that is holy and divine. It seemed to
me that these spiritual torments would be my lot for the rest of my
life. I turned to the Blessed Sacrament and said to Jesus, "Jesus, my
Spouse, do You not see that my soul is dying because of its longing for
You? How can You hide Yourself from a heart that loves You so
sincerely? Forgive me, Jesus; may Your holy will be done in me. I will
suffer silently like a dove, without complaining. I will not allow my
heart even one single cry of sorrowful complaint." |
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| 26 | 26 End of the novitiate. The suffering does not diminish.
Physical weakness dispenses me from all [community] spiritual
exercises; that is to say, they are replaced by brief ejaculatory
prayers. Good Friday [April 16, 1928] -Jesus catches up my heart into
the very flame of His love. This was during the evening adoration. All
of a sudden, the Divine Presence invaded me, and I forgot everything
else. Jesus gave me to understand how much He had suffered for me. This
lasted a very short time. An intense yearning - a longing to love God. |
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| 27 | First vows [First profession of temporary vows, April 30,
1928]. An ardent desire to empty myself for God by an active love, but
a love that would be imperceptible, even to the sisters closest to me. However, even after the vows, darkness continued to reign in my soul for almost a half year. Once, when I was praying, Jesus pervaded all my soul, darkness melted away, and I heard these words within me: You are My joy; you are My heart's delight. From that moment I felt the Most Holy Trinity in my heart; that is to say, within myself. I felt that I was inundated with Divine light. Since then, my soul has been in intimate communion with God, like a child with its beloved Father. |
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| 28 | Once Jesus told me, Go to Mother Superior [probably
Mother Raphael] and ask her to let you wear a hair shirt for seven
days, and once each night you are to get up and come to the chapel.
I said yes, but I found a certain difficulty in actually going to the
Superior. In the evening Jesus asked me, How long will you put it
off? I made up my mind to tell Mother Superior the very next time I
would see her. The next day before noon I saw Mother Superior going to the refectory and, since the kitchen, refectory and Sister Aloysia's little room are all close to each other, I asked Mother Superior to come into Sister Aloysia's room and told her of the wish of the Lord Jesus. At that, Mother answered, "I will not permit you to wear any hair shirt. Absolutely not! If the Lord Jesus were to give you the strength of a colossus, I would then permit those mortifications." I apologized for taking up Mother's time and left the room. At that very moment I saw Jesus standing at the kitchen door, and I said to Him, "You commanded me to ask for these mortifications, but Mother Superior will not permit them." Jesus said, I was here during your conversation with the Superior and know everything. I don't demand mortification from you, but obedience. By obedience you give great glory to Me and gain merit for yourself. |
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| 29 | One of the Mothers [probably Mother Jane], when she learned
about my close relationship with the Lord Jesus, told me that I must be
deluding myself. She told me that the Lord Jesus associates in this way
only with the saints and not with sinful souls "like you, Sister!"
After that, it was as if I mistrusted Jesus. In one of my morning talks
with Him I said, "Jesus, are You not an illusion?" Jesus answered me, My
love deceives no one. |
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| 30 | +On one occasion I was reflecting on the Holy Trinity, on the
essence of God. I absolutely wanted to know and fathom who God is. ...
In an instant my spirit was caught up into what seemed to be the next
world. I saw an inaccessible light, and in this light what appeared
like three sources of light which I could not understand. And out of
that light came words in the form of lightning which encircled heaven
and earth. Not understanding anything, I was very sad. Suddenly, from
this sea of inaccessible light came our dearly beloved Savior,
unutterably beautiful with His shining Wounds. And from this light came
a voice which said, Who God is in His Essence, no one will fathom,
neither the mind of Angels nor of man. Jesus said to me, Get
to know God by contemplating His attributes. A moment later, He
traced the sign of the cross with His hand and vanished." |
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| 31 | 31 +Once I saw a big crowd of people in our chapel, in front
of the chapel and in the street, because there was no room for them
inside. The chapel was
decorated for a feast. There were a lot of clergy near the altar, and
then our sisters and those of many other congregations. They were all
waiting for the person who was to take a place on the altar. Suddenly I
heard a voice saying that I was to take the place on the altar. But as
soon as I left the corridor to go across the yard and enter the chapel,
following the voice that was calling me, all the people began to throw
at me whatever they had to hand: mud, stones, sand, brooms, to such an
extent that I at first hesitated to go forward. But the voice kept on
calling me even more earnestly, so I walked on bravely. When I entered the chapel, the superiors, the sisters, the students, and even my parents started to hit me with whatever they could, and so whether I wanted to or not, I quickly took my place on the altar. As soon as I was there, the very same people, the students, the sisters, the superiors and my parents all began to hold their arms out to me asking for graces; and as for me, I did not bear any grudge against them for having thrown all sorts of things at me, and I was surprised that I felt a very special love precisely for those persons who had forced me to go more quickly to my appointed place. At the same time my soul was filled with ineffable happiness, and I heard these words, Do whatever you wish, distribute graces as you will, to whom you will and when you will. Then, instantly, the vision disappeared. |
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| 32 | Another time I heard these words, Go to the Superior and
ask her to allow you to make a daily hour of adoration for nine days.
During this adoration try to unite yourself in prayer with My Mother.
Pray with all your heart in union with Mary, and try also during this
time to make the Way of the Cross. I received the permission,
though not for a full hour, but only for whatever time was left me
after I had carried out my duties. |
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| 33 | I was to make this novena for the intention of my Motherland.
On the seventh day of the novena I saw, between heaven and earth, the
Mother of God, clothed in a bright robe. She was praying with Her hands
folded on Her bosom, Her eyes fixed on Heaven. From Her Heart issued
forth fiery rays, some of which were turned toward Heaven while the
others were covering our country. |
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| 34 | When I told this and certain other things to my confessor, he
replied that these
might really be coming from God, but that they might also be an
illusion. Because of my frequent changes [of assignments], I did not
have a permanent confessor and besides, I had great difficulty in
speaking of these things. I prayed ardently that the Lord would give me
that great grace-that is, a spiritual director. But my prayer was
answered only after my perpetual vows, when I went to Vilnius. The
priest was Father Sopocko. God had allowed me to
see him in an interior vision even before I came to Vilnius. |
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| 35 | Oh, if only I had had a spiritual director from the
beginning, then I would not have wasted so many of God's graces. A
confessor can help a soul a great deal, but he can also cause it a lot
of harm. Oh, how careful confessors should be about the work of God's
grace in their penitents' souls! This is a matter of great importance.
By the graces given to a soul, one can recognize the degree of its
intimacy with God. |
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| 36 | Once I was summoned to the judgment [seat] of God. I stood
alone before the Lord. Jesus appeared such as we know Him during His
Passion. After a moment, His wounds disappeared except for five, those
in His hands, His feet and His side. Suddenly I saw the complete
condition of my soul as God sees it. I could clearly see all that is
displeasing to God. I did not know that even the smallest
transgressions will have to be accounted for. What a moment! Who can
describe it? To stand before the Thrice-Holy God! Jesus asked me, Who
are you? I answered, "I am Your servant, Lord." You are guilty
of one day of fire in purgatory. I wanted to throw myself immediately
into the flames of purgatory, but Jesus stopped me and said, Which do
you prefer, suffer now for one day in purgatory or for a short while on
earth? I replied, "Jesus, I want to suffer in purgatory, and I want
to suffer also the greatest pains on earth, even if it were until the
end of the world." Jesus said, One [of the two] is enough;
you will go back to earth, and there you will suffer much, but not for
long; you will accomplish My will and My desires, and a faithful
servant of Mine will help you to do this. Now, rest your head on My
bosom, on My heart, and draw from it strength and power for these
sufferings, because you will find neither relief nor help nor comfort
anywhere else. Know that you will have much, much to suffer, but don't
let this frighten you; I am with you. |
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| 37 | Soon afterwards I became ill. Physical weakness was
for me a school of patience. Only Jesus knows how many efforts of will
I had to make to fulfill my duty. |
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| 38 | In order to purify a soul, Jesus uses whatever instruments He
likes. My soul underwent a complete abandonment on the part of
creatures; often my best intentions were misinterpreted by the sisters,
a type of suffering
which is most painful; but God allows it, and we must accept it because
in this way we become more like Jesus. There was one thing which I
could not understand for a long time: Jesus ordered me to tell
everything to my Superiors, but my Superiors did not believe what I
said and treated me with pity as though I were being deluded or were
imagining things. Because of this, believing myself to be deluded, I resolved to avoid God interiorly for fear of these illusions. But the grace of God pursued me at every step, and God spoke to me when I least expected it. |
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| 39 | + One day Jesus told me that He would cause a chastisement to
fall upon the most beautiful city in our country [probably Warsaw].
This chastisement would be that with which God had punished Sodom and
Gomorrah. I saw the great wrath
of God and a shudder pierced my heart. I prayed in silence. After a
moment, Jesus said to me, My child, unite yourself closely to Me
during the Sacrifice and offer My Blood and My Wounds to My Father in
expiation for the sins of that city. Repeat this without interruption
throughout the entire Holy Mass. Do this for seven days. On the
seventh day I saw Jesus in a bright cloud and began to beg Him to look
upon the city and upon our whole country. Jesus looked [down]
graciously. When I saw the kindness of' Jesus, I began to beg His
blessing. Immediately Jesus said, For your sake I bless the entire
country. And He made a big sign of the cross over our country.
Seeing the goodness of God, a great joy filled my soul. |
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| 40 | +The year 1929. Once during Holy Mass, I felt in a very
special way the closeness of God, although I tried to turn away and
escape from Him. On several occasions I have run away from God because
I did not want to be a victim of the evil spirit; since others have
told me, more than once, that such is the case. And this incertitude
lasted for quite some time. During Holy Mass, before Communion, we had
the renewal of vows. When we had left our kneelers and had started to
recite the formula for the vows, Jesus appeared suddenly at my side
clad in a white garment with a golden girdle around His waist, and He
said to me, I give you eternal love that your purity may be
untarnished and as a sign that you will never be subject to temptations
against purity. Jesus took off His golden cincture and tied it
around my waist. Since then I have never experienced any attacks against this virtue, either in my heart or in my mind. I later understood that this was one of the greatest graces which the Most Holy Virgin Mary had obtained for me, as for many years I had been asking this grace of Her. Since that time I have experienced an increasing devotion to the Mother of God. She has taught me how to love God interiorly and also how to carry out His holy will in all things. O Mary, You are joy, because through You God descended to earth [and] into my heart. |
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| 41 | On one occasion I saw a servant of God in the immediate
danger of committing a mortal sin. I started to beg God to deign to
send down upon me all the torments of hell and all the sufferings He
wished if only this priest would be set free and snatched from the
occasion of committing a sin. Jesus heard my prayer and, that very
instant, I felt a crown of thorns on my head. The thorns penetrated my
head with great force right into my brain. This lasted for three hours;
the servant of God was set free from this sin, and his soul was
strengthened by a special grace of God. |
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| 42 | +Once, on Christmas Day [ 1928], I felt the omnipotence and
the presence of God surrounding me. And once more I fled from this
interior meeting with the Lord. I asked Mother Superior for permission
to go to Jozefinek to visit the sisters
there. The Superior gave us permission, and we started to get ready
right after lunch. The other sisters were already waiting for me at the
door of the convent while I ran to my cell to get my cloak. On my way
back, as I was passing close to the little chapel, I saw Jesus standing
in the doorway. He said to me, Go ahead, but I am taking your heart.
Suddenly I felt that I had no heart in my chest. But the sisters were
scolding me for lingering behind, saying that it was already getting
late, so I quickly went along with them. But a sense of uneasiness
troubled me, and a strange longing invaded my soul, though no one knew
what was happening except God. After we had been at Jozefinek for only a few minutes, I said to the sisters, "Let's go back home." The sisters asked for at least a moment's rest, but my spirit could find no peace. I explained that we must return before dark; and in as much as we had quite a distance to go, we immediately returned home. When Mother Superior met us in the hallway she asked me, "Haven't the sisters gone yet, or have they already returned?" I said that we had already returned because I did not want to be returning in the evening. I took off my cloak and immediately went to the little chapel. As soon as I entered Jesus said to me, Go to Mother Superior and tell her that you came back, not in order to reach home before dark, but because I had taken your heart. Even though this was very difficult for me, I went to the Superior, and I told her frankly the real reason why I had come back so soon, and I asked pardon of the Lord for everything that had displeased Him. And then Jesus filled me with great joy. I understood that apart from God there is no contentment anywhere. |
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| 43 | On one occasion I saw two sisters who were about to enter
hell. A terrible agony tore my soul; I prayed to God for them, and
Jesus said to me, Go to Mother Superior and tell her that those two
sisters are in danger of committing a mortal sin. The next day I
told this to the Superior. One of them had already repented with great
fervor and the other was going through a great struggle. |
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| 44 | One day Jesus said to me, I am going to leave this
house... because there are things here which displease Me. And the
Host came out of the tabernacle and came lo rest in my hands and I,
with joy, placed it back in the tabernacle. This was repeated a second
time, and I did the same thing. Despite this, it happened a third time,
but the Host was transformed into the living Lord Jesus, who said to me,
I will stay here no longer! At this, a powerful love for Jesus rose
up in my soul. I answered, "And I, I will not let You leave this house,
Jesus!" And again Jesus disappeared while the Host remained in my
hands. Once again I put it back in the chalice and closed it up in the
tabernacle. And Jesus stayed with us. I undertook to make three days of
adoration by way of reparation. |
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| 45 | Once Jesus said to me, Tell Mother General [Michael] that in
this house ... such and such a thing is being committed ... which
displeases Me and offends Me greatly. I did not tell this to Mother
right away, but the uneasiness which the Lord made me feel did not
permit me to wait a minute longer, and I wrote immediately to Mother
General, and peace returned to my soul. |
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| 46 | I often felt the Passion of the Lord Jesus in my body,
although this was imperceptible [to others], and I rejoiced in it
because Jesus wanted it so. But this lasted for only a short time.
These sufferings set my soul afire with love for God and for immortal
souls. Love endures everything, love is stronger than death, love fears
nothing... +February 22, 1931 |
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| 47 | In the evening, when I was in my cell, I saw the Lord Jesus
clothed in a white garment. One hand [was] raised in the gesture of
blessing, the other was touching the garment at the breast. From
beneath the garment, slightly drawn aside at the breast, there were
emanating two large rays, one red, the other pale. In silence I kept my
gaze fixed on the Lord; my soul was struck with awe, but also with
great joy. After a while, Jesus said to me, Paint an image
according to the pattern you see, with the signature: Jesus, I trust in
You. I desire that this image be venerated, first in your chapel, and [then]
throughout the world. |
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| 48 | I promise that the soul that will venerate this image will
not perish. I also promise victory over [its] enemies already here on
earth, especially at the hour of death. I Myself will defend it as My
own glory. |
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| 49 | When I told this to my confessor, I received this for a
reply: "That refers to your soul." He told me, "Certainly, paint God's
image in your soul." When I came out of the confessional, I again heard
words such as these: My image already is in your soul. I desire
that there be a Feast of Mercy. I want this image, which you will paint
with a brush, to be solemnly blessed on the first Sunday after Easter;
that Sunday is to be the Feast of Mercy. |
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| 50 | +I desire that priests proclaim this great mercy of Mine
towards souls of sinners. Let the sinner not be afraid to approach Me.
The flames of mercy are burning Me - clamoring to be spent; I want to
pour them out upon these souls. Jesus complained to me in these words, Distrust on the part of souls is tearing at My insides. The distrust of a chosen soul causes Me even greater pain; despite My inexhaustible love for them they do not trust Me. Even My death is not enough for them. Woe to the soul that abuses these [gifts]. |
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The complete Diary may be downloaded in a pdf format from Here |
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| Diary, St. Maria Faustina
Kowalska, Divine Mercy In My Soul (c) Congregation of Marians of the Immaculate Conception, Stockbridge, MA 01263. Used with permission. |
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Don't Despair! - Don't Give Up!
